Zimbabwe's Prime Minister Mini-Me Demands Mugabe Treatment
Dr Evil, aka, Robert "The Solution" Mugabe, seen here leaving ZANU PF Headquarters in Harare on Wednesday, 27 January, surrounded by some of his security guards. The guards are only part of his vast motorcade, guzzling enough fuel to drive to London and back every week. Morgan Tsvangirai, aka Prime Minister Mini-meHarare, Zimbabwe, 29 January 2010
Morgan Tsvangirai, aka Prime Minister Mini-me of Zimbabwe, is demanding what Dr Evil, aka Robert "The Solution" Mugabe has in terms of security, essentially signalling that there will be no change in the way Zimbabwe is governed should Prime Minister Mini-me replace Dr Evil as President of Zimbabwe.
In the ongoing discussions around "outstanding issues" in the implementation of the Global Political Agreement, Morgan Tsvangirai wants to be given the same level of security as Mugabe. The President of Zimbabwe currently moves around with a convoy around 15 cars, including an ambulance that is equipped to be a mobile hospital, two truckloads of heavily armed soldiers (complete with machine guns and assault rifles in addition to the standard-issue AK47s)and several gas-guzzling top of the range limousines.
All this is accompanied by outriders on motorcycles as well as several police cars blaring sirens.
When Mugabe travels, everyone has to pull out of the road and let him pass. If his guard thinks you delayed moving out of way, one of the trucks with soldiers stays behind and ensures that the "errant" motorist is punished severely. Some people have been shot at for not pulling out of the road fast enough.
There is no reasoning with the security people, they do not care whether there was nowhere for you to park when Mugabe's motorcade happened upon you.
This is what Morgan Tsvangirai now wants: outriders, police escort and soldiers accompanying his motorcade.
Now, you have to understand that even at the height of war of independence in Zimbabwe, Ian Smith, the white Prime Minister of the then Rhodesia, had no protection of this kind.
All Smith had was a police bodyguard, even when he went to tour the posts deep in the rural areas where the war was raging.
Mugabe started this madness with security after he was narrowly missed by a huge bomb in Masvingo just after independence. At independence itself, he was also targeted after disgruntled former members of Ian Smith's armed forces hatched a plot to blow him sky high on the podium where the handover ceremony was being presided over by Prince Charles of the United Kingdom.
So, what is Tsvangirai's excuse?
Even the British Prime Minister drives around with a couple of Scotland Yard escorts and stops for traffic lights (Tsvangirai's current motorcade already does not stop at traffic lights).
This is the man who was talking about the a "change the governance culture of Zimbabwe"? Yet he is making the issue of emulating Mugabe's extravagant behaviour an "outstanding issue".
As I keep saying, with the MDC-T, it appears as if the more things "change", the more they stay the same.
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